Is it "snow fatigue" or are the zombies among us getting sloppy?

The evidence is clear, people.  Stop preparing for the zombie apocalypse.  It is useless.  Clearly we are experiencing the zombification of our fellow human beings right now.  Social critics will attempt to gloss over the gradual deterioration of polite society by placing blame on one societal ill or another.  Parents will claim that bizarre teen behavior can be logically explained away by out of control hormones and acne issues.  Teachers will give evidence that students have been unable to raise their hands in the classroom for years and that one word answers or grunting is the norm.  Let us open our eyes to reality and resolve to learn to navigate this new world together.
People are quick to dismiss the evidence of the widespread zombie affliction with terms like "snow fatigue" or "winter fatigue".  Symptoms of these syndromes range from insomnia (zombies don't sleep) to the inability to concentrate (zombies can't form words or sentences, much less read them) to overall clumsiness or a feeling of physical malaise or fatigue.  Ask yourself, is it winter depression and lack of warmth and sunlight that is ailing you or it is the thought of lurching through life like a zombie while you watch your various body parts wither, decay and fall off?  Anyone who has had to drive in the past few weeks knows that there are zombies driving on our roads terrifying the rest of us.  (Evidence:  They can't read or follow road signs. They pass when they shouldn't. They aren't able to slow down on ice-covered roads. They forget how to use the gas pedal and turn signals.  This list is endless.)
Thankfully, Isaac Marion has written a book filled with zombie hopes and dreams.  Zombies are not eternally doomed to a life of mindlessly attacking humans and eating their brains.  With will, determination, and education, they can get better.  In time, they will recover.  (This is the same advice given to the parents of teens.)  They can relearn how to feel and dream and become a useful part of society.  How will you know that the zombie working in the cubicle next to you is recovering?  They will stop trying to eat your brain every chance they get.  Grunts and one word replies will eventually become complete sentences.  Motor skills will slowly but steadily improve.  They will start to remember their old life.  They will respond to their name.  They will vow to keep you safe from the other zombies which means they have feelings for other people again.
 While we await this day of recovery, we need to arm ourselves by studying informational literature about zombies.  In the past several years, it has become clear that this virus is sweeping our nation but we have been reluctant to admit it.  Perhaps "The Walking Dead" is actually reality television, not a fictional drama/horror series.  (After all, it's on TV and they can't put anything on TV that isn't real, right?)  Max Brooks has even written a book about the zombie war and a zombie survival guide.  (If it's in a book and it's labeled non-fiction, it must be true, right?)  The reality check for non-believers is that there are zombie action figures being made for children to play with. (A conspiracy of socially functioning zombies, perhaps?)
Time to check your teen for a pulse and a temperature.  If they lack either of these essential signs of life, head to your library for an instructional manual on how to care for them.  Teens seem to be the group most vulnerable to this disease.  Zombies won't laugh at your jokes, they won't eat your food, they certainly won't listen to you, and they get angry if you tell them you don't like how they're driving.  (When they do eat, they attack their food voraciously.)  Zombies spend copious amounts of time sitting or laying in one place but when they want something, they are relentless.  Does any of this sound familiar?  Better hope the zombie instructional guide is checked in.